I’m Not Dead

I’m just freaking tired. Does a man’s existence diminish when he isn’t online? There’s one of those weird postmodern questions for you to chew on.

The next month will be spent playing Call of Duty 4. There’s some product endorsement for you all.

Monday Evening Punk Rock

Here’s Husker Du playing “New Day Rising.” Michele from FTTW described this particular song as being “like fifty hits of speed shoved into your veins with a needle that’s been dipped in pure adrenaline.” I couldn’t put it better myself. Obviously, this is not for everyone. Then again, for the most part I don’t even know what most of my (plus or minus) five readers actually listen to, so I have no clue if I’m catering to anyone’s tastes or not. Click if you’re curious.


Dear Rebecca,

I thought you were mad at me after the terse response to a comment you made a while back on one of my shamelessly lifted Isla Vista posts. My reason? For a while there were no interesting reports from the land of the Barbarians, although I will admit that I hadn’t checked the paper for some time. Sure, I know it was the beginning of summer and they were starting to move out for a few months, but as a blogger the world revolves around me and I took it as some sort of retribution. I’d like to personally thank you, then, for this week’s gem:

A college student apprehended for obstructing law enforcement and public intoxication may also be held responsible for the financial expenditures incurred during his “unilateral decision to leap off a cliff” while trying to escape arrest in Isla Vista.


The subject’s 20-foot fall was slowed by the fact that his flip-flop became entangled in ice plant during his decent. Following contact with a rock outcropping, where he landed, the man lay unconscious for 15 seconds until he stirred awake. Despite suffering an arm fracture and a bruised lung, the young man got up and took off until captured on a stairwell leading up from the beach.

As a virtual shut-in, I need all the entertainment I can get, so thanks for brightening up my day. I’m still not willing to give up my super secret identity, though, because I’m totally paranoid.



See, It’s Okay for Me

I have no real responsibilities. Seriously, though, this is a bit messed up:  

Addiction to the Internet and the online version of the fantasy role-playing game “Dungeons & Dragons” is what led a Reno couple to nearly starve to death their young children, authorities said.

This is precisely why I don’t have kids.* It would cut into my gaming time.

*Okay, so the real reason is that no one will sleep with me, but that doesn’t make for any kind of story. At least not one that I find very funny.

via cruel.com 

My Enthusiasm for Bic Is on the Wane

After sending a Bic lighter through the laundry last week and finding that it still operated, I was quite pleased. Today, the same thing happened with Bic a pen, though, and while the pen still works my clothing looks a bit…I don’t know…avant-garde.

Yes, I’m fully aware that the whole thing was my stupid fault, just like the lighter incident, but I am no longer the unabashed Bic fan that I was a week ago.

Monday Afternoon Punk Rock

Yes, it’s only a damn Youtube clip. I’m still not quite ready to go back to updating this thing regularly, so you all will simply have to accept it. This song is just cool on so many levels, and nothing perks up a Monday for me like loud guitars and screaming Irishmen. Being out of school for the summer is great because I can now listen to music while working. I never could do that while reading or trying to write a paper. I originally found this over at Dennis the Peasant, a pretty good place to find the occasional musical clip (among other interesting things.) I knew about Stiff Little Fingers before this, but I had never heard this particular song. So click away if you’re into this sort of thing.

Seriously, the MPAA is Not That Strict

Online Dating

This rating was based on the use of the words “crap” (7 times,) “kill” (2 times) and “gun” (1 time.) You could find worse on children’s television.

My Life as a Senator

Lately FTTW has taken on a sports and music kind of vibe, and while I can boast of some pretty pretentious titles in my CD collection, I am absolutely clueless when it comes to the subject of sports. The sports that I actually can watch without falling asleep are golf, boxing, hockey, and football, in that order. The first is because I occasionally play it and so I know what’s going on, the rest because they involve people hitting one another. I would have been a pretty good Roman peasant.

Now, since I prefer to spend money on video games instead of cable service, I don’t get the chance to watch any of these things on TV, so I decided to become better acquainted with sports through the wonderful world of the Xbox 360. Rather than grabbing the latest shoot-em-up, I bought NHL 07, the latest hockey game from Electronic Arts, and started up my career with the Ottawa Senators in honor of Deb, a fellow FTTW contributor and a hockey nut. (Seriously, check out her column. It got me interested in hockey.) 

Anyway, I can’t say that the virtual Senators are a bad team, but I am a very bad Senator. Perhaps I need to look into the actual rules of the game or something, because all I really know about hockey is that the puck is supposed to go in the net and players get into fights. In the game, I lose every faceoff and the damn virtual ref blows the whistle every time I get a good shot. Lousy stinking virtual hockey ref. The problem is that I have no clue as to why he’s stopping the game.

I must say, though, that it is an exciting game. None of the other games I’ve played in quite some time have managed to suck up as much actual time while seeming so short. I even get tired after playing a couple of matches.

So that’s how I’ve been wasting my time lately after the first year of grad school ended. Perhaps I’ll actually bother to write something about that later, but I think you all know not to trust me on that.

Bic Makes a Damn Fine Product

I just put my cigarette lighter through the laundry (by accident, I assure you) and it still works. Would the same hold true with a Zippo? Consider this to be an endorsement.

Yep, that’s all for now.

Thursday Again

I know I don’t need to remind anyone who is still around, but I’m up at Faster Than the World today. Check out the column. It’s yet another stunningly intellectual video game review, this time with zombies as a bonus.